April 2, 2010

Saving the World for Whom?



In a moist halo of light high over Brooklyn the full moon wanes...all over the nightside of the globe millions of eyes are watching...the four-leggeds too...at first it was a flat spot on the top right...now the curved shadow of earth eats up a sliver of light...soon the moon will be dark invisible and new...it will be doing this long after our bones are dust...if it doesn't collide with another planet or a comet...that happens you know...space is a big place...they can't see everything at once...big stony objects speeding around out there...whoops there's one we didn't see...and look how close it came...a million miles is only an inch in outer space...imagine...a giant asteroid can slam the moon and send it hurtling toward earth...anything can happen anytime.

I've said it before but I'll say it again: maybe we need more bombs in case the asteroids come...all ICBM's should be pointed outward to blow up incoming rocks...what if aliens invade?...who says other cosmic creatures are peaceful advanced and civilized?...perhaps they evolved from insects or lizards...how could we get along with an intelligent cockroach or a friendly alligator?...we can't even trust each other...maybe they'll want to eat us...giant radioactive cockroaches who don't even need spaceships or air...or intelligent flying rats with footlong teeth...I'm telling you anything can happen...the dinosaurs could return in giant spaceships with superior technology...maybe they already have.





Sigh...I know it's silliness...I'm exhausted here...I can't write anything good because I don't feel anything...I don't know what I am anymore...I feel nothing at all...all I know is that I'm human and I don't know why...I don't know what I am doing here or what I am supposed to be doing if anything...I'm not an intellectual...I tried to be when I was young...I thought it would make me attractive to females...but it was too much for me...in the first place gals of my day liked muscular self-confident macho guys with money and thought intellectuals were wimps...gals of today like the same thing but now you have to have an education and be an artist as well...wimps are okay if they have money...old guys can butt out...it sucks but that's Nature.



In the second place I never understood a word of Hegel or Sartre...Kierkgaard depressed me...Nietzsche made me anxious...Kant was incomprehensible...Plato exhausted me...only his depiction of Socrates taught me anything at all...and Socrates wrote nothing down...aside from that, the only philosopher I ever really liked was Bertrand Russell, an activist human being with a moderate point of view, and I can hardly remember a thing he said...see I am not an intellectual...the only philosopher who ever made me laugh was Aristotle, when he said, "I don't know which is stranger; me, or my cat"...for a philospher, I'll take Woody Allen.

I'm not religious either...I never was, despite my grandmother hauling me off to a Baptist church every week for seven years...



I wanted to do right and still do...but I screwed up of course...I haven't done anything Jesus wouldn't forgive if that's how it works...but I haven't done as well as I could have...mostly I've wasted my life with selfishness and self-indulgence...I lied to myself for years...I said I would put it all in a book someday...so maybe I have character flaws and personality disorders...but how much of that is my fault?...and who cares?



I'll die soon and everybody who knows my faults will die too...that's what death is...mass memory-erasure ...O God no not my memories...what else have I got that's real?..we even posit that our memories go with us in death to another life...in our version we never die.



O well we'll all be digitized somehow...no religion ever answered anything for me...I learned more reading Gorky Faulkner & Hemingway...we all have our own paths to walk...I tried spirituality and didn't really get that either...yes yoga is good and the I Ching is intriguing and Lao Tzu is amazing and Gandhi is a marvel for the ages...but I'm just an old guy trying to get along on Social Security and driving a cab six nights a week...I can see how chanting OM 20 hours a day might help you see God but I just don't have the time...I live and breathe here on planet Earth and know squat about God religion philosophy & spirituality...I know about human beings busting their asses and bleeding their blood into the dirt all over the planet to keep a vicious favored clique in clover though...I know how the rich make war on the poor and blame their victims...Ho makes more sense to me than Jesus...I'd rather read Lenin than Obama...Marx is still a delight to poor working people who get it...Fidel ain't so bad either...yes I know Marx was a philosopher but I don't blame him for it.



But I can't save the world that's for sure...to save the world you have to be against people...and if you save it then what?...more people?......we might reach a point where only mass-suicide will save the earth...on the other hand, "saving the earth" is ludicrous...the planet will poison or boil us alive before we can kill it...it only looks like a race against time...it's not a race...you can't beat the planet...it has all the time in the world and better armament...I recommend making peace with it by reducing the human population to about a billion over a number of future generations...then everybody can own some land and have some peace quiet and freedom...robots for the hard labor...but nobody listens to me...they didn't even hear my suggestion for moving sidewalks under glass canopies in Manhattan.

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